Anxiety around your money can be the hardest self-doubt you will ever face.
Our self-worth and who we are can be so intertwined with how much money we make and have, that not seeing beyond the dollar (peso, lira etc) amounts in our accounts creates havoc with our attitudes.
What is one thing to do when you believe that you never had enough money or never will have enough money? Some of my richest clients have struggled with the idea that one day they could easily be homeless. That all their investments, money, assets will just disappear. That their money disaster is ready to happen at any moment.
Here are some of their habits that are creating their “self-critical” issues:
- Not opening bank statements whether in the mail or online/electronic
- Comparing their habits and dollars to unreasonable models
- Using debit cards for all purchases and rarely holding dollars in their hands
- Overbuying now just in case the dollars go away
- Believing their negative family stories about relatives and histories they believe will probably happen to them
- NEVER having a conversation with anyone about money because they are ashamed
- Hoarding
- Difficulty with budgeting, planning or reading about how to save or invest dollars
Many people are secretly in debt and their partners do not know the dollar situation. This kind of secrecy screams shame, anxiety and fear they will be “found out”.
Allow me to share with you a personal experience. I was in debt and close to bankruptcy. My credit score was awful. My shame was high and NO ONE knew my secrets about money.
I am now out of debt, have a terrific credit score and have lovely investments and an income.
How did I do it? I stopped my habits of not wanting to know the depth of my debt and the results of my very bad money habits.
The first steps I took:
- Opened all mail and electronic accounts and examined the situation – you can’t make good next decisions if you don’t have the facts of the situation
- Cut up ALL credit cards and spent the next 2-3 years only using cash or debit cards. If there was no money to spend, I did not spend it.
- Took a finance course on budgets, investments, planning and debt reconstruction
- Stopped comparing myself to those “rich” people and how I had failed to become one of them
My most important step was to know my debt and spending. You cannot make good decisions unless you know what you are deciding. I know that sounds ridiculously logical, but many of us do not get that.
We think it must be so bad that we will never get out from under the money anxiety rock.
The most powerful place in your life is when you have the information you need, right or wrong/good or bad, and then choose your next steps. No one else chooses for you. You choose. There is where the power is.
One of my clients, who made terrific money, started with a $20.00 bill in her top drawer every week. She opened the drawer each week and admired the dollars. Within a year, she had rehabbed her house, sold it for twice the amount she paid for it; met a lovely new guy and helped her daughter with a wedding. And she has dollars in her account and a new sense of self-worth around her dollars and money.
“Natalie, it can’t be that easy!!”
Actually, it is. Getting out of your own way around money means looking at and dealing with how you are responding and handling money. And it can be hard. But it can also be the best move of your life.
Money can be lots of fun and rewarding. Don’t you think you deserve to know what other ways there are of “doing” money in your life?
To Your Success,
P.S. Let’s have a coaching call around money. Send me an email and set up a call with me you want “to talk about money”. You can also schedule a call with me by signing up here. If you have not been able to conquer your money and dollars issues and anxiety, I can help. Trust me, this is a conversation that will help set you free.