In the last week I have received 16 offers for setting up my goals for 2017. Talk about pressure.
“By damn, we better have our goals mapped and prioritized by January 1, 2017 or we are going to have a terrible life and year.”
Well, that is what it felt like.
How about the 25+ questions you need to ask NOW in order to figure out what your goals should be?
Have you completed them?
And why not?
Are you a lazy non caring slob who will never amount to anything? Most likely not true at all.
When I got the final of the 16 offers to work on my goals now, I took a deep breath and let all the pressure go.
A true story:
I did a presentation in TX in November for a terrific group of hard working, talented, successful and lifelong female learners – women who are supporting their career growth attending conferences; taking courses; starting internal women’s organizations within their own corporations; offering to work on highly visible projects; mentoring peers and subordinates and committing to hours of planning to get it all done NOW.
During the conference and my presentation I offered my time for free coaching sessions. All they needed to do was sign up and they had me all to themselves to ask whatever they wanted while knowing our conversation would be totally confidential. I offered 10 ½ hour sessions in my calendar (beautifully cleared to make this happen by my terrific Pam) and they filled immediately.
Of course I was delighted to speak and spend time with these value seeking women. My clients have taught me lots so I have much to share with those seeking to know what is most important to them and their next steps in their professional and personal lives.
One delightful woman asked me about the trajectory of her career – very specific questions with logic and structure. She wanted to know the exact next steps she should be putting into her goals and planning.
My question to her was “what is missing for you right now – what do you long for?”
Well, she was quite surprised by my question. Then silent. Then, “I don’t know, but to tell you the truth, most of the time I feel empty and stressed and I don’t know why.”
My offer to her was (and is to you also):
- Yes have a plan, but be flexible
- Choose you first and fill you up
- Find out what is most important to you and do some of it each day and week and month and year
Do not make it complicated. Do not think that it is not ok to choose you to refill before giving everything away to your work; boss; family; community.
Trust me, when you reach a certain age, you will be compelled to choose you because wisdom will demand it in the most urgent of ways.
So why wait. Start now and include you in everything good.
I asked her to reflect each day for two weeks, what would be important to her to include in her daily “taking care of me” strategy. I then made sure that this new habit was in her device planner before anything else – helpful reminders are just the best.
When you are not use to taking care of you it can be a difficult concept to add, easily. However, once you begin to take of care of you in a more habitual way, everything changes in a positive way. Everything.
So let me leave you with one question to think about for the new year planning. What is working? In your life; work; family? Just simply, what is working? From this awareness of what is working you can begin to select what you want to do more of and what is not working you can just eliminate from your device and planner.
I asked Pam to clear out some hours for free coaching sessions with me the first two weeks in January. I can help you get back on track and eliminate the confusion and stress of being you and your talented self. I look forward to speaking with you and sharing with you my 30 years of coaching with talented, strong, stressed individuals just like you. They have trained me well.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
To Your Success: