I think this is going to be a slight rant, but I cannot help.  I had dinner with a respected colleague last night and she said something(s) that got stuck in my thoughts.  Some of it just did not sit well and I wanted to think the comments through. 
Here is the premise:
My colleague is a Senior Service Manager,  8 years with an international company, really good at what she does, 5 weeks of vacation, great 401K, benefits fit for a kingdom and, from what I could tell, has a great boss.
This colleague told me that she had noticed some deficits in their new supervisory leadership.  Then she experienced some more serious deficits in their leadership when she had to interact with these new and young supervisors – who had been trained by the organization when they arrived 3-6 months previously.
She then mentioned to her boss that she was experiencing some issues and from how she told me the story, she added some of her own “attitude” to the story.
Her boss asked her who the supervisors were that were causing the issues.
And my colleague would not share the information with her. 
She told her boss that she does not tattle about people.  Apparently gossiping with an attitude is ok, but sharing real information so these new supervisors could get some redirect or additional training was not in her lexicon.
And that my friends rattled my cage.
Learning-new copyNO LEADER IS EVER DONE LEARNING.  That includes you.  That includes the CEO, receptionist, the Prime Minister of any country and new supervisors within a large international organization.  No one is ever done learning…never, ever, never. 
There is a way to deal with inefficiency and ineffectiveness:  

  • First you can ask if someone needs help
  • In rapport, you can give feedback that you think will be valuable
  • You can approach a manager of anyone as ask if you can share something with them that you know they will value

The rant part of this is just: Why would you gossip and call it tattling to a company that apparently is providing you with a great income and environment? Do you disrespect the organization that much?
Sharing information that creates effectiveness is good.
Providing feedback that will correct a deficit is good business.
Creating a high value relationship with someone you need to share what you consider to be difficult information with is part of all of our jobs (and a privileged skill set) as leaders. 
I can think of dozens of times people have given me feedback that has been a blessing and it was because I had made an error. 
free-orange-flowers-wallpaper-1 copyWhen my blog has a grammar error and someone brings to my attention, and they do, I don’t like the error, but I love that someone out there read my information and took their time to share their feedback with me.  And I always send them a thank you note for letting me know.
My business manager is the best in the business.  We have worked together for over 10 years.  I trust her with my soul and when we work on something together, it is good and correct.  However, there was a proposal we completed together 5 years ago that had a big fat glaring error and the potential client let us know.  I was truly mortified and so was my business manager.  We graciously thanked the prospect who became a long term client.  We learned a great lesson and eventually had a good laugh.
But if you give out the vibes that you cannot receive feedback, you are going to miss some great information that will add to your confidence, humble your ego and help build your skill set.
Give the feedback.  Teach the lesson.  Do it with rapport.  Be open to learning.
Damnit.  Everyone deserves to give and receive that which is valuable and will make a difference in their efficiency and effectiveness. 
“Natalie, what if the people that I need to give feedback to are not in my department, organization, country, religion, district, industry?” 
Communications copyGive it anyway.  Figure out the best way to communicate with that person and share the info. 
Be open enough to receive feedback and then you will grow…it also shows you are a good listener too.
Be brave enough to share your opinion, feedback and smarts with others ESPECIALLY if they will benefit from your experience and wisdom.
OK, I am done ranting.
Feedback is not criticism.  Sharing is time taken.  Comments can be totally constructive.  New knowledge just feels good.
Below, I am sharing again the link to Crucial Conversations and Confident Business Communication Etiquette.  We all just so deserve to be good at communicating – especially difficult information.

To your success,




P.S.  I highly recommend Crucial Conversations:  Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High By Kerry Patterson, Joseph, Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler because we all have to have difficult conversations often whether it’s a performance review; giving feedback that is meant to help; following up on poor performance; training someone who is having trouble grasping the skills; attitudes that need adjusting (even works on teens).  This a book you will have on your desk or in the top drawer for your entire career.  You will even want to order it for your team and/or organization…it is that good. Click here  .

P.P.S. Want immediate help with your confident communication…every time! My CONFIDENT series is just for you starting with “Confident Business Communication Etiquette. It contains all the tips, techniques and strategies you need right now to communicate easily and effectively, faster than you ever thought possible. Click here.

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