Geezzzeeee Louise – seriously. If you are not going to make the messy stress life changes that you have been beating yourself up for all these years!!, then accept it and move on. I have spoken to no less than 20 people in the last week who are getting ready for their life changing mind set blowing new behaviors for 2014. They are going to do it this year = STRESS No chance it will not happen = STRESS This time they will make it happen because it just has to and they know that and by God they will make it happen. And this is why “must do” usually fails. Messy stress is the “must do” graveyard. Example of failure: This gal hates her brother. She owns some property with him. He has always had more money. He handles his money well. She does not and never has. But this year she is going to make money and show him. No messy stress here. Example of not going to happen: The business manager has never ever been good with relationships and really has a tough time showing any kind of empathy or caring, however, this year it is going to be different. He read a book and now he will be different. No more bad reviews for him about his inability to understand, motivate or inspire his people. Hmmmmmm, stress? Example of disappointment: This year (6 people) is going to be different. They are going to change how they eat. They are going to exercise every day. They will lose 30 lbs by March lst and keep it off for the rest of their lives. Harmful stress thinking. Example of relationship loss: Even though this gal has been engaged 3 times, she has yet to make it to the altar, but this year will be different. She knows that if she tries hard enough she can be less verbally critical. She can be nice, sweet, loving and patient. Stressful just considering the huge shifts needed. Money, food, relationships, success. We think that the beginning of any year has magical powers that will help us with our willpower and that will be able to do and be anything we want, more easily than ever in our lives. (Can you feel the stress cortisol building?) And then next Thursday comes and we are mad, disappointed, lost, self-critical and enormously sad and stressed at our inability to do what we said we would do. We have not failed to do what we said we were going to do. Although it sure feels that way. It feels like every other time we have tried to change and it did not happen. What we have failed to do actually is determine what we value and what would be most important to us to begin to look at and shift in a very systematic and LOVING way. It you read all the articles leading up to the new year then you know that you must plan and then execute the details to accomplish the change. Actually, here is what I think might be good to consider as a way to begin to gigantically shift your life into such positive directions that you will be giddy with joy and stress free much of the time.
Are you ready to know this?
Ok, here it is. Find something to take notes on and write down the top ten things you adore doing or being. Then prioritize those things into your life and do them. Once you begin to hourly, daily, weekly to live and plan joyfully, your life will shift more dramatically than it ever has EVER AND EVER. You cannot do joyful things and not be joyful. You cannot do continuous joyful things without attracting other joyful moments, feelings, opportunities. That means money will be easier; love will be closer; relationships will blossom and work will be stimulating. Call it whatever you want. The law of attraction cannot be shifted or changed. If you are joyful, happy, inspired, filled with love and motivation you will be thinner, happier, richer and nicer. You won’t have time to be critical of all that the negative has brought you because you won’t be negative. The tough part is sustaining the positive aspects when you have evidence of other than positive.
Shift and change are simple. I did not say there were easy.
Pick one thing to be happy and joyful about. Just one thing and repeat it over and over again. Make signs. Keep notes. Write sonnets about it. Just one thing. It’s like compound interest. It just keeps growing and growing. So what do you choose to create joyfully right now? It does not have to be big, just consistent. If you need something practical to help you get to what is joyful for you, then make a list of all the things you are good at every day for 30 days. Trust me, once you acknowledge your talents and strengths, the good will just follow. You cannot be sad and happy at the same time. Stress just begins to melt away.
You can be happy and joyful most of the time.
I have post it notes throughout my living space reminding me that life is good. They make me smile which reminds me that life is good, which makes me smile and I feel good and then life is good and then and then and then and then. My 25+ years of consulting and coaching has inspired me to simplify the idea of being and doing. My clients initially dig through all their messy stress and when they get to what is good about them, they sigh deeply. It is like coming home. There is safety and warmth knowing you are ok. When you know where you are you can then choose your next steps. But acknowledging that you truly have tremendous worth can be hard. So skip the evidence of all the years of struggle and self-doubt. Inside you is a remarkable essence that transcends all that you have thought to this point. It is simple, clean and powerful. Then there is momentum for feeling good. When you feel good, you do good. When you do good, life is good. When life is good…well, life is good.
Simple, not easy.
2014 is going to be a remarkable year for me. I know it and feel it. I wish that for you too. Knowing how very remarkable life can be is a good first step. Join me in a sweet stress free environment where you choose your actions and attract your positive life changing results.
My love to you and yours,