Nothing can deflate your confidence as severely as when you find out you are the issue in a situation and not them…whoever the “them” is.
What keeps us away from evaluating what is needed and most important is our judgement of what we think is right. Many times, we are as jaded as the next person. Just because we are usually right, does not bode well for learning to lead well.
In coaching, the barriers are removed and the reality of what is most important is exposed. What is most important to you and what you value is the basis of your coaching engagement going well.
We all need to know what is working well. But we ALL need to know what is not working at all. The “4Questions”, which is the basis of NMA coaching, create rapport, examine the accuracy of the situations and help create accountability and the priorities that need to be undertaken.
What shakes many of the leaders I coach with to their core, is that they are the issue. Here are some of the reasons why:
- Thinking you are right and not finding out what other information is necessary to form an accurate opinion
- Not getting the opinion of others – decision making is never done in isolation unless you think you are right
- Going to do it the same way cause last time it worked – wow – this technique and belief is so overrated and overused
- There is not enough time to do any more research, communicating or evaluating – yes there is if the only information you have is yours
- Evidence is not fact. Evidence can be like pieces of information that build to an outcome – find the pieces
- Arrogance and judgement can narrow any positive and
profitable outcomes - Not asking for help and not asking the wisest person you know what
they think - Being afraid you won’t be right – you won’t be right btw
- Not creating trust and respect even with the “bad ones”
Nothing complete ever operates in isolation. We need each other and we need each other’s information, experience, opinion and support.
Early in my career I was mentored by a brilliant person who gave me the best advice for that time…and for some reason, I listened.
“Always find the smartest person in the group and ask them what they think”. I found that most of those people were much older than me and had big powerful titles…but I asked anyway. No one ever turned down my request to get their opinion on something that was important and timely. NO ONE.
Leading well takes courage. It takes time. It takes honesty with one’s self and it takes curiosity to find out what you don’t know or to support what you think is the “only way”. Most of the time it is not. Collaboration and asking for an opinion on a topic makes you wise; informed; clear; less arrogant and respected.
Try it. Guaranteed you will learn something you did not know or confirm that your theory was spot on – getting clear is powerful.
To Your Success,
P.S. Coaching together does not need to be a huge decision. How long have you been considering the idea of getting a coach? How do you know you even need one? What is the result of coaching? Email me and let’s have a conversation about coaching. Shifting from self-doubt to confident success is really possible. You deserve to lift the worry issues and get answers and the support that will begin to change all your negative results.