My coaching career has allowed me to work with some of the best leaders and executives in the business world. It has also allowed me to coach those “new” to their own leadership talents and strengths. Those that are not yet aware of how talented – maybe raw talent – they are, but are willing to hear and then do what is possible.

Just recently I asked a seasoned executive team to share who on their team had shifted and changed the most in the last 6 months of working together. I did not ask who was the MVP. I asked who had shifted, the most significantly, into the leadership, communication and behavioral performance lane they have been exploring and learning and to provide examples of the shifts and changes. This is a question I ask all the teams I coach and train.

NOTE: When this team meets, we have a fully loaded agenda and prep work for their time together. They are intense, talented, verbal and sometimes confrontational with each other. It is a good team, willing to build trust through conflict and accountability (“The Five Dysfunctions Of A Team” by Lencioni).

The examples they provided to the youngest team member of what they had experienced and seen in her shifts and changes, brought some blushes and big smiles to the recipient of the information. Also some surprise.

I asked her if she understood the difference between a compliment and competence. We met privately later for a coaching session and I asked her what her thoughts about my question were. It was an interesting session which helped solidify how you can understand the difference between receiving a compliment and knowing you are competent with your talents and strengths. Allow me to share:

  • A compliment can be momentary – competence means you own it and demonstrate it and contribute it
  • Integrity does not often get complimented, however, competence confidently sticks like glue because it is yours
  • Nice people get compliments – competent people give them (and don’t have to wait any longer for the compliments)
  • Competent people begin to be less fearful; less stressed; confident and bring assured moments to the projects they do
  • Competent people get great performance reviews and nice raises
  • Competent people begin giving information to others because what they have to say holds great value

She now understood the difference between a compliment and being competent and was surprised a bit by her growth and new confidence.

We can feel our shifts in contribution and doing well, however, it is remarkably smart of you to share with others how well they are doing. Feedback helps us believe that what we only imagined about ourselves is not only possible, but now true.

I love love love coaching young leaders. They become the people they admire and begin to naturally shift into those effective and confident persons.

Go find the ones that are contributing and tell them. All of us need that kind of feedback our entire careers.

To Your Success,

P.S. The mini Virtual VIPs are providing people just like you with guidance, confidence, direction and stress free moments. What a way to start a new year. Let me know what would be your next most important steps…if you don’t know them, we can easily figure them out together. EMAIL ME. I’d love to help and support you, right here and right now.

P.P.S. The “Five Dysfunctions Of A Team” By P. Lencioni is an easy, fast and excellent read – just what your team needs. It is one of our favorite recommendations from our NMA “Best Reads“.

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