That is what she said to me on our first coaching call.

“I have a choice”?

Here is a classy, smart, successful professional woman stuck in the mire of her self-doubt.  Something happened that almost destroyed her knowing and feeling confident…since that happened, both have eroded badly. 

What happens when confidence and choice go away?

  • Limited options
  • Less creativity
  • Perception that everything is a problem
  • Inconsistent success and results
  • Avoidance of anything that smacks of risk

“Where did my confidence go?  I used to be so ready to create results and happy about taking the next steps, even if it was new territory…territory not guaranteed to be successful.”

Bring it on was her daily thoughts process.  “I got this” was her self-talk while inspiring others and herself.

But now so much seemed to be gone, just vanished from her thoughts and actions. We discussed when the slippage started.

The pain of the situation was still so raw.  She had felt publicly dismissed and embarrassed by a senior executive in her first presentation to the senior executive team.  She remembered the feeling of not being able to breathe or hear easily.  A fog came over her and she does not remember how she finished her presentation or even exited the conference room.

The critical comments cut to the core; shifted her perception of her everyday work and felt, even now, like a fatal blow. 

The process:  We examined the presentation; the feedback and her feelings…we examined her conclusions from the perceived criticism.

The actions:  She was to set up a meeting with the senior executive to get his feedback about his comment and to find out his recommendations for her next steps to improve. 

The outcome:  The senior executive thought that the way she handled the “critical” feedback was professional, unemotional and appreciated.  He was delighted that he could not agree with her findings and share those opinions with the team in real time.  He was also pleased she had sought him out because he had thought several times to come find her so he could tell her that he admired her work. 

“I did not know I had the choice to ask and clear up the situation” was her comment to me. 

My client was astounded at the feedback and how much negative time she had spent feeling targeted and humiliated.  She did tell the senior executive that his comments were hard to hear and that was why she was back asking if there were improvements she needed to make. 

You always have a choice.  Either you can feel terrible or you can clear up the situation. Maybe you will find out that you do need to improve, but maybe you will find out that your professionalism was admired. 

Whoa.  Wait.  You have the right to choose!!!!!!

My coaching is always about getting you to the place where you, as a smart, remarkable, human being, have the awareness and choice of knowing and learning that which is most important to know.

Choice and awareness are a powerful place to spend your time.

Let’s coach together. 

To Your Success,

P.S. Send me a personal note and let me know you want to do some coaching; take the leadership, communication, behavioral performance assessment or come do a VIP day with me.  Powerful stuff.  Its all about choice and awareness.  Maybe now is the time for you to choose for you. 

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