The critical stinker in your head gets the advantage so much of the time. We are super critical of ourselves and accomplishments…and terribly critical of any challenges – lack of perfection – we have.
My coaching clients get schooled very quickly in how to take a compliment. Part of my onboarding with my new clients is that we cannot work together unless they can accept a compliment. I am most serious in this aspect of our coaching together.
I ask them, in all seriousness, when was the last time you:
- Said “thank you” for a compliment and did not deflect it – just said thank you.
- Acknowledged a job well done that you completed
- Celebrated an on-time project
- Congratulated yourself in getting that annual budget done and submitted
- Fist bumped a good accomplishment
- Whispered a “you rock” to yourself for learning a new skill
- Rewarded yourself for not fainting during the presentation you did
“Natalie, I am already supposed to know how or be good at all of that.” Right and you probably are, but when was the last time you actually acknowledged it?….to you??
Our critical minds are getting even more critical and incessant in the frequency of how often we “think” negative thoughts about ourselves and others.
Any of this sound familiar:
- Really, again, you dumb jerk
- Well, you really blew it this time
- And when will you ever be enough
- My dad, brothers, mother, sister, wife, husband, partner, boss was right, I am a loser
- When are you ever going to learn
- And so much worse, that I have heard you say to yourselves….
What if you said and thought instead:
- Nice job hot stuff
- You GOT this
- Even though you were terrified, you did it and I am PROUD of you
- So so so excited about how great you are
- Love you kid
- Go celebrate and rock on with your bad self
- Thank you _____________, (your name), NICE JOB!!!
The duration of the time that you have habitually been negative with yourself is important. It can feel almost impossible to change the negative self-talk.
Recommendations for helping the change from negative to positive include meditation, prayer, affirmations – they help tremendously.
What would you say if I told you that right here and right now you could have access to a strong, confident, results-producing you??
HOW?…Tony Robbins, the guru of creating “self” success, has a simple and immediate technique. He calls it “getting into state” which simply means ACT like you are confident, smart, respected, trusted, successful.
Act like the person you admire that exemplify these success characteristics.
Stand tall, breathe easily, hands on your hips, legs shoulder width apart (like Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman) and act the part. Immediately your body shifts into the “state” of confident you. It works.
Children do this all the time – pretend to be the character and then they are the character. My grandboy lately has been exploring volcanoes making the ground shake, imagining smoke, being strong and not afraid of the power. We even checked out books from the library on volcanoes so he could be even more authentically like one.
For you, pretend until it becomes a natural response to you and your remarkable confident, talented, strong self. Begin to chase that critical self-defeating stinker away right now.
And…if you would like support with removing your critical self and accessing your confident self, I am your coach. See what others have to say.
To Your Success,
P.P.S. VIP days in March – you will love the time spent together reviewing all your talents and strengths and developing an action plan…customized just for you…for the next 6 months. VIP information on our website. Or email me directly. Come to Nashville in March. Doesn’t it sound terrific to be clearing up and negative non-confident habits? When we are done, you can go play in Nashville. Invite your “partner” to spend the weekend in Nashville.
P.P.S. The assessments revealing your leadership, communication and behavioral performance talents and strengths are just what you need right now. Stop wondering about your career, find out with your assessment. Personally debriefed by me.
P.P.P.S. The “Best Reads” has one of the classic Tony Robbins books just for you. “Unleash The Power Within: Personal Coaching To Transform Your Life!; His Complete Program For Self-Empowerment” by Tony Robbins. This first program was written in 1999 and stills sells thousands of copies every year. Why, because it works!!