You can’t turn around without someone telling you it is going to be ok. They say, think positively and that will attract the magic you need to accomplish your goals. Facebook is covered up in prayers, meditations, links to finding your true purpose with little effort.
And don’t you wish all that were true?
Actually it is.
I have 4 basic coaching questions I use with my clients and audiences. After all these years, I have been able to put the gist of getting to the place where you can be clear and effective into 4 questions…yes there is a 5th one that is the secret sauce.
You have admit, that something in our lives is working. Something is positive and feeding us some of what we need. Maybe not the total package, but there are things that are working. That is the first question.
“What is working?” It is not a hard question unless your mind chatter is completely negative. Before you ask this first question, you might need a couple of deep breaths and to get out of your own way a bit when you ask:
WHAT IS WORKING:
- My kid got an A in biology
- The boss told me to take some time off that I was doing a good job
- The neighbor stopped letting their dog poop in my yard
- My mother in law is taking the kids for a long weekend
- Our team at work is getting ready to be on time with the project
- My inbox has less than 5,000 emails in it
- I learned how to upload, download and outsource in the same week
- The auto repair shop has a brakes special this week, thank God
- The walking up the stairs to work is really starting to show
- I am sleeping, better
- I did not run over the hose again this week while mowing the lawn
See, there are things that are working. Make your own list – type it up where you can see it. MAKE THE FONT BIG
Humans learn by repetition – doing things again and again.
I can remember learning the fox trot in my ballroom dancing class. My feet did not get what they were supposed to do… for a long time. When I got the steps in synch with the music, I did glide over the dance floor and I was smashing, don’t ya know!!! It felt good. And I forgot how long it had taken for my feet, body and music to get in synch.
In order to admit, wash and repeat, what is working, a list is great. Hanging the list up to easily see it is better. Putting the list on your alarm 5 times a day to check in your notes or calendar is even better. Bestest (sic) is repeating one of your already working “things” and repeat it all day long until you get it!
Why repeat? Why again and again? Because it is the best way to remind yourself that you are doing some good things well already. You need to remember and remind yourself, often, that some things are really already working well. It is the place to begin to shift and
change. Start with the positive. Your positive.
Then move on to the next on your what is working list, wash and repeat.
“Natalie, how long will this take?”
How long did it take you to learn something easily that pleases you and provides you with some humor and joy? That’s how long it takes.
The real question is “do you want the feeling of positive success and confident results”? If you do, then Nike it.
Practice letting yourself know that you are doing some stuff that is really working and probably working well. Then give yourself some credit and celebrate…no matter how small you think your success is.
The more we acknowledge what is working, the easier it is to get to the place where positive comes easily and naturally.
Stay tuned. The next set of questions will help you shift into some serious effectively accountable success producing results.
To Your Success,