There is a formula for confidence that works. It creates rapport with the toughest crowd and allows you to have courage in moments that will surprise you.
But to get to the confidence formula, you need to get the “story” that you have been telling yourself, for maybe even years, into the area of truth.
Lots of times our stories are made up of bits and pieces of who we are; what we have experienced; who they are; what happened when stuff did not work and especially when we felt that people just did not like us one bit.
Being rejected or abandoned is the magnet that gathers the energy around stories that we continue to tell ourselves and believe long after that kind of emphasis is warranted.
Take the conversation I had with a client today. She is not going to participate in the marketing of her business because she is sure that people will be turned off by her message. That people probably don’t like her and would just delete her messages anyway.
I was pretty surprised at the energy she had in her voice about how right she is about this story.
Now mind you, she is an expert in her field, well respected, solicited for her work by the top organizations in her industry and is continually asked to edit the top designers in her field.
And yet, the story about her marketing and branding being rejected if she up levels the message and frequency, is absolutely true to her.
Here is what you need to do to deconstruct a powerfully negative story that occupies your belief system and holds your mindset for ransom.
- Take a deep breath and listen to the story in your head
- Define the components of the story to see if any of it is true
- Discuss your findings with a valued coach or mentor
- See how old the story is – if it is any older than one year, evaluate its value
- Blaming your mother, father, sister, brother or industry experts is not recommended
- Hiding behind 20 year old successes is not suggested
- And believing the “what if it is true” scenario is not allowed
Being afraid of moving forward or doubting your abilities is natural. We all participate in this behavior…many times to our detriment.
However, if you have dug your heels in and refuse to have any discussion about any other possibility but your story, you lose big opportunities to grow.
- What if you are wrong and you really are terrific?
- What if you are smart and valued?
- What if that recurring thought about doing something different than you have done is real?
- What if you take some deep breaths; say your prayers and take one small actionable step forward EVEN WITH THE DOUBT?
The solution cannot be accomplished from the place of the problem. You need to shift just a little so you can get new light of what it is you are so terrified of…you might just find out that you are that talented, terrific, smart and insightful person you have always longed to be.
Take one step. One tiny baby step out of your righteous path and see what happens.
To your success,
P.S. A wondrous and soul saving book that I recommend to all my clients is Louise Hays’ “You Can Heal Your Life”. You will send me a thank you note for recommending it. BTW, I know you can do this. If you need help, please let me know. I would love to help you shift out of your limiting mindset and into your success filled life. Click here.